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分享笑料

瘦的皮包骨

zhaolezi 所属分类: 精选笑话

昨天我亲爱的老婆在洗完澡后穿着睡衣问我:“小哥,看我是不是又胖了? ”

我说:“你哪儿胖了?看看你都瘦的皮包骨头了。” 

老婆心里很美,但还不确定:“真的吗?”

我淡然的说:“就是皮有点厚。”


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叔叔,别!你听我解释

zhaolezi 所属分类: 精选笑话

今天女朋友说去她家里头玩让我顺便在路上给她买她爱喝的果粒奶优。

到她家里发现没人,就在她屋里和她打闹起来。过了一会我和她出了屋,看见她爸爸坐在客厅,女友正整理着衣服和头发,舌头舔着嘴角残余的奶优,这时我发现她爸爸看我的眼神变了。


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只要一阴天

zhaolezi 所属分类: 精选笑话

   一个漂亮的姑娘最近遇到了一个死皮赖脸追求她的男青年还一直向她求婚。


   姑娘见躲不过他,便不屑地说:“想要我嫁给你,除非天上没了太阳和月亮!”


   男青年听了,高兴的抓住姑娘的手:“你的意思是,只要一阴天,你就嫁给我?”


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你小学语文是体育老师教的吧

zhaolezi 所属分类: 精选笑话

每次当我出了错时别人都会骂我小学语文是你的体育老师教的时候我总是默不作声。

因为我特么不仅语文是体育老师教的!连数学也是!!!!!!

我好像明白我考不上大学的原因了


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古董

zhaolezi 所属分类: 精选笑话

昨天奶奶突然神秘兮兮的拿出来一个看起来听古老的瓷瓶,对我说:“阿毛,你不是有同学在读考古吗?你叫他过来帮我看一下,这可是秦朝的宝贝啊。”我大吃一惊,我家也会有这等宝贝?!奶奶见我将信将疑,忙道:“你懂什么!孔子的真迹就在里边!”“啊?里边黑乎乎的看不清啊!怎么写进去的?真是太好了!”我拿过手电一照,依稀几个字,差点昏倒:“北京2008”!! 

奶奶闻之大喜,哈哈大笑:“孔夫子真是圣人啊!这事也被他猜到了!” 


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